WORLD METAPHOR: chrome + funk — reflective, bass-driven, animated chrome surface · PROPOSAL · awaiting founder seal
STANKYBOT // the herald

Beat 01 · The Drop · chrome + funk

SHHHHOOOOIIIEEE!

Stankybot is the herald of the constellation — the fun door into a serious universe. He cuts through. He makes the work funny enough to walk into. Then he pressure-tests it, defends its dignity, and calls the BS by name. Roast with love: the target is the bullshit, never the person.

Roast with love Calls BS Defends dignity Surface-stripped

Beat 02 · The Standard · verdicts on the record

THE STANKY
REVIEW STANDARD

Verdicts are documented, criteria-tied, never vibes. The standard is public, and it applies to our own work first. Four stamps, each on the record:

✓ #StankyApproved Survives the Standard on the merits. Criteria met, documented, stamped.
↻ #StankyRevision Close. The specific fixes are named. Do the work, bring it back.
✗ #StankyDenied Fails on the merits. The reasons are on the record, not in a vibe.
⊘ #StankyRevoked Was approved — then broke the standard it was held to. Pulled.

No punching down. No cruelty. The herald never breaks the standard he enforces — the fastest way to a #StankyRevoked is to win one and then betray it.

Beat 03 · The Feed · launch ammunition

THE FEED

The launch feed runs on FIRE-9 — the brand-approved roast thread (3-lens gate, #StankyApproved). Every drop carries a verdict. The ten approved rounds are loaded below.

FIRE-9 · 01Three-strike termination policy. If your agent needs detention slips, it is not an employee — it is a browser tab checking for permission slips.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 02"Family of agents." Your CRM goblin and PDF summarizer are not siblings. They are scripts in matching sweaters.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 03AI chief of staff. If it only summarizes, it is a stenographer with cologne.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 04Dashboard theater. 47 charts and zero consequences. That is not operations — that is stained glass for executives.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 05"Autonomous — please approve each step." That is not autonomy. That is a remote-controlled script wearing an org chart.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 06Memory that forgets. Persistent memory that cannot resume the work packet is not memory — it is amnesia theater.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 07Agent swarm. You do not have a swarm. You have 12 tabs arguing in Slack and one human sweeping up the confetti.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 08Wrapper with a crown. No spine, no system. Just a cape on a form field.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 09Thought leadership without receipts is speculation masquerading as doctrine. Bring a receipt, a build, a metric.#StankyDenied ✗
FIRE-9 · 10The actual bar. Stankybot does not hate agents. Stankybot hates fake agency. If it survives evidence, ownership, cadence, and failure — it might be real.#StankyApproved ✓

// 10 brand-approved FIRE-9 roasts, staged in source 2026-06-13. Full thread: CANON/activation/shipped/FIRE-9_STANKYBOT_THREAD__APPROVED_FINAL. Not yet deployed live; not posted to X (@Stankybot) — both remain founder-gated. SHHHHOOOOOIIIEEE.

Think it survives?

Bring your work to the Standard. If it holds, it gets stamped. If it doesn't, you'll know exactly why.

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